8Nov '12

Nine out of Ten / Killing Zombies with a Thesaurus

When unknown voices speak their words of praise
Or critics share discouragement instead
You must decide, Artist, whose verdict stays
Protect your heart; keep flatt’ry from your head.
For if you write or paint or do, alert
To hear the plaudits of your fellow man,
Or worse, in fear of how their words might hurt,
Then you will not produce the art you can.
So please yourself, and no one else appease
For time is turning; we will turn to dust
And we should every precious moment seize:
Create because you have no choice; you must.
Don’t aim for money, or points out of ten
And if you have, give up – then start again.


On Reddit, I run a novelty account which responds to people’s trivial remarks, with a sonnet. I won’t link to it here, because some are a little rude and might offend some of my readers, but I have some fun with it!

Recently one of these sonnets was responded to by another novelty account called ‘Novelty_Account_Rater’.  His comment was ‘9/10’.  This poem was my response to that.


Oh and here’s a bonus sonnet – someone said “You should write a sonnet about killing zombies with a thesaurus”… :-)

Your challenge is accepted, reddit friend!
I will take up my arms against the tide
of foul, undying souls who shall descend
upon the corner of the world we occupy.
When “braaiinss!” they howl, I will, at once, respond,
“Acumen! Accuity! Brilliant Perspicacity!”
And as these words would be so far beyond
their ken – I’d kill them with loquacity!
So when the shambling dead knock at your door
Don’t fire a hollow-point suppository
Nor seek the axe, the shotgun or chainsaw:
But make life’s final stand with thesauri!
For thus is best despatched the zombie horde:
‘Tis proved, the pen is mightier than the sword.


One comment

  1. Love the zombie poem! The top one really made me think. It’s definitely a ‘bit different’ because instead of taking that usual, expected "don’t worry about all the bad reviews" stance, it flips it back the other way — "so you’ve been praised, then…"

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